The Ultimate Goblin’s Guide to Mining

 

So you want to mine?
You want to turn heat, wires, and electricity into a slow, smoldering stream of digital coins?

Good. Welcome to the pit.

Mining ain’t passive. It ain’t pretty. It’s hot, loud, and borderline spiritual when done right.
If staking is sitting still with crossed fingers—mining is war.

Let’s crack it open, goblin-style.

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1. What Is Mining? (Goblin Version)

It’s not just solving math problems.
It’s your GPU, CPU, or rig proving to the blockchain gods that it worked harder than the other guy’s toaster rack.

In return?
You get a tiny reward. Sometimes. If the pool likes you. If the power stays on.

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2. What Can You Mine?

• Bitcoin:
  You’re too late. Unless you live next to a hydro dam or own a warehouse in Iceland, forget it.

• Ethereum Classic (ETC):
  Ghost of a chain with old-school miners still clinging on.

• Ravencoin (RVN):
  Goblin approved. GPU mineable, community heavy, and actually useful for token creation.

• Kaspa (KAS):
  Fast blocks. Low latency. GPU paradise—for now.

• Monero (XMR):
  CPU mineable. Private. Good for the paranoid and the principled.

• Random Forkcoins:
  There’s always a sketchy project with no liquidity but easy difficulty.
  Goblins call this “lottery mining.” One day, one might pop.

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3. Mining Gear: From Trash to Treasure

• Beginner Setup:
  Old gaming PC. Cheap GPU. Miner software. One fan blowing over it like it owes you money.

• Intermediate Setup:
  4-6 GPUs. Riser cables. Open-air rig frame. Power supply with too many wires.
  Now you’ve got a heat source and an existential crisis.

• Advanced Goblin Farm:
  Multiple rigs. Shelving. Exhaust vent. Voltage nightmares. Neighbors wondering if you’re building a time machine.

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4. Mining Software You’ll Touch Eventually

• Gminer / TeamRedMiner / lolMiner:
  Specialized and efficient. They either sing or scream depending on your card.

• XMRig:
  For CPU goblins who believe in stealth and privacy.

• NiceHash:
  For sellouts who just want BTC and don’t care what chain they’re feeding.

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5. Goblin Mining Survival Rules

• Always check your hashrate. If it drops, so will your soul.

• Watch thermals like a hawk. A fried GPU is a dead goblin.

• Join a pool. Solo mining is for masochists with 1000 cards and no social life.

• Track electricity costs. Your “profits” vanish fast when your electric bill shows up looking like rent.

• Experiment often. New chains = new opportunities = new regrets.

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6. Goblin Mining Philosophies

• Scavenge everything. Craigslist cards. Broken rigs. That old laptop in your cousin’s closet.

• Rotate often. Don’t get stuck mining a dead chain unless you love longshots.

• Turn trash into hash. Goblins don’t buy top-tier rigs—we resurrect junk and give it purpose.

• Log everything. Coins mined. Temps. Payouts. When you lose a rig, your notes will save you.

• Don’t just mine—learn. Every coin teaches you something. Even the bad ones.

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7. When to Stop Mining?

Never.
Just pivot.

When profits are thin, mine to stash.
When rewards are small, mine for future upside.
When everything fails, mine just to keep the code alive.

Because at the end of the day, mining isn’t just income.
It’s rebellion.

You’re not clicking buttons.
You’re contributing to the decentralization of money—with fire, fans, and ferocity.

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Final Words From the Rig Room:

The world wants you to buy crypto.
Goblin miners say: forge it.

One hash at a time.
One busted fan at a time.
One wallet at a time.

Stay hot, stay loud, stay mining.
– A.B. Gobling