They said crypto was about decentralization. About freedom. About not trusting banks. So naturally, when I stumbled into a Telegram chat full of raccoon-themed avatars talking about "restoring power to the people," I smashed BUY on their governance token: $SCAVENGE.
What nobody told me was that:
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The devs had left six months ago.
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The multisig wallet hadn’t signed anything since Joe Biden’s last coherent sentence.
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And I had just bought enough tokens to become the only voter left in the entire DAO.
Suddenly, I had full proposal rights. So I did what any rational goblin would do:
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Proposal 1: Rename the project “TrashDAO.” Passed unanimously (1-0).
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Proposal 2: Airdrop 1,000,000 tokens to a wallet labeled “Goblin Retirement Fund.” Passed.
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Proposal 3: Burn the rest of the supply out of spite. Passed.
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Proposal 4: Close governance forever with a meme of a dumpster on fire. Passed and pinned.
That’s how I went from wide-eyed degen to authoritarian trash lord in 72 hours.
Gobling Lesson:
Governance tokens often grant real voting power in DAOs. But without active participation and transparency, many DAOs become ghost towns with tokens that don’t do much. Before investing in one:
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Check activity: Are proposals recent? Are they being voted on?
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Look at treasury transparency: Can you see where funds are going?
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Examine multisig wallets: Are they active?
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Avoid cults of personality: If the project relies on one dev or influencer, run.
Unless you want to be left sweeping up the ashes of a raccoon kingdom, do your homework.
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